Jokes

[Claire]

post ur favorite jokes:

why men must so often wake up at night

10% bc they are thirsty
20% bc they must go on toilet
70% bc they must go back home

[Herzeleid]

Hitler walks into a bar and the bartender is like, "Holy crap! You're Hitler." Hitler says, "Ja, I am Hitler." and the bartender asks "What was the deal with that halocaust thing?" Hitler replies "Well, I was going to kill six-million jews, six-million more jews, and six million more jews and three clowns." The bartender says, "Why three clowns?" Hitler yells, "SEE? NOBODY CARES ABOUT THE JEWS!"

[NaZGul]

There was a knock on heavens gate and Sankt Peter opened up the gate, and found that an badly reputated landlord was standing in front of the gate:
St.Peter  - You shouldn't be here! You're supposed to be in Hell!
Landlord - I know i would. In fact i was down there and was thrown out from Hell.
St.Peter - Thrown out? What in heavens name did you do to be thrown out from Hell?
Landlord - Well, i was going around the place and turned the heath down.

[Chubz]

A gay couple and a lesbian couple are at the top of a skyscraper, preparing to jump at the same time.

Who would land first?

The lesbians, because they would go lickity-split, while the gays would be poke-assing around.

[Herzeleid]

There is a four way intersection. Jesus is on one corner, God is on the other, Santa Claus is on the other and a big fat dyke-o lesbian is on the other. There is a 100 dollar bill directly in the middle of the intersection. Who gets to the bill first?


The lesbian, because she's the only one who exists.

[Chubz]

There is a four way intersection. Jesus is on one corner, God is on the other, Santa Claus is on the other and a big fat dyke-o lesbian is on the other. There is a 100 dollar bill directly in the middle of the intersection. Who gets to the bill first?


The lesbian, because she's the only one who exists.

HAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

*breathe*

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA    

[The Andreyp]

here is mine
hey man!which clothes you use in too warm weather! -
i use light clothes and costume from the white skin!
he are ideal - fully repeats my body's form!
even i don't remove him!

[Herzeleid]

here is mine
hey man!which clothes you use in too warm weather! -
i use light clothes and costume from the white skin!
he are ideal - fully repeats my body's form!
even i don't remove him!

Genius

[The Andreyp]

what - doesn't works ?  

[Herzeleid]

The language barrier is a cruel thing

[The Andreyp]

The language barrier is a cruel thing

point on my errors

[JP McDougal]

by far the funniest. Herz doesn't know a masterpiece when he hears it.

[Josh1billion]

A gay couple and a lesbian couple are at the top of a skyscraper, preparing to jump at the same time.

Who would land first?

The lesbians, because they would go lickity-split, while the gays would be poke-assing around.

I've heard another version of it as a race and the gays would still be behind, packing.

[Chubz]

A gay couple and a lesbian couple are at the top of a skyscraper, preparing to jump at the same time.

Who would land first?

The lesbians, because they would go lickity-split, while the gays would be poke-assing around.

I've heard another version of it as a race and the gays would still be behind, packing.

Yeah, I think it goes something like this:  (correct me if I'm wrong)

If a gay couple and a lesbian couple were to be in a race, who would reach the finish line first?

The lesbians, because the gays would still be behind, getting their shit packed.

[Claire]

there was 3 maniacs escaped from a psychiatrie: they run...run...until they found a swiming pool, they stopped to run, the pools was empty(without water), fascinated the first one jump in... an die, the second one follows him..he jump.... an die, then the third one keeps staying an laugh..he laugh until the doc was by him.
the doc saw the desaster an thinks that the third one is healed, he ask him "why u didnt jump?", then the third maniac respond still laughing..."bc i cannot swim"